One Last Time Again - Part II

Very rarely am I at a loss for words. In fact if you take a look at some of my other posts, you'll see I probably use alot more words that I should. But when presented with the body that I had previously seen only in pictures, in such a vulnerable position, not only did I not know what to say, I didn't know what to do. To fantasize about her in this way is one thing, to have it play out in front of me, was another. I so wanted to run my hands along her soft skin & through her finely coiffed hair; up and down her exposed back; along her ass cheeks held high; to run my fingertips against her waiting pussy lips, and feel the wetness that I had heard so may times before. My mind raced -

She's married. But you've done it with married women before.
She's my friend. You've slept with your friends before.
This will change things between us. Obviously, and maybe for the better.

The body was definitely willing, and had she taken a peek up at me, she would have seen as much. The mind however, was making things difficult.

3 weeks later, I still don't know why I did what I did. I reached down to grab her by her upper arm and help her up. Her eyes were welling up, knowing what I was going to do.

But moreso because of what I wasn't going to do.

There were no words I could have said that would have calmed or comforted her. I had nothing for her, and what she did want from me, I either couldn't give to her or didn't want to. I was rendered dumb and confused as I led her to the couch to talk to her and hopefully make sense of everything that just occurred. I held her hand as we sat and stared at one another. She broke the silence with the question I had hoped she wouldn't have asked:

"Why not?"

I babbled for at least 30 minutes. My main argument was that sleeping with someone, and then becoming their friends, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't; sleeping with someone whom I consider a close and dear friend, and whom I love, has never worked out, and I've lost them. Always. And that's the last thing that I would want to happen to us.

She seemed to hear everything that I was saying but I wasn't sure how she was processing it. I finished speaking and she looked at me. Stared at me is probably a better description. She scooted over, leaned into me and said matter of factly,

"And that is exactly why I wanted to fuck you."

I was dumbfounded. Did she just admit she no longer wanted to be friends?

It must have been the dumbass look on my face because she went on to clarify how she knew I wouldn't just think of her as another hookup and that were we to sleep together, it would have been just as hot as our online sessions. She knew in her heart that it wouldn't change a thing between us - she wouldn't let it.

But she also knew that once I have my mind set on something, it generally isn't getting changed. And that day, in my heart, I know I made the right choice.

She scooted over to me and I pulled her close, her back against me. I wrapped my arm around her tummy, just under her boobs, and she put her arm over mine. I held her other hand and we remained in this position until hunger got the both of us.

We headed over to Denny's since I had never been, and we ate, drank, & laughed without a care in the world.

And I wouldn't have had it any other way.