Say Hello To My Little Friend

My previous cellphone of choice was the Nokia E71 unlocked. It was a fantastic phone, did everything that I needed it to do, took a beating, held a great charge & took decent enough pictures and video, accessed email and websites superbly. The major downside to the phone was that it was on the AT&T network. Major suckage with a capital SUCK.

So lo and behold I popped into the Verizon store with Michelle tonight - yup we had another get together, and yes I will finish up our first encounter from last week - and noticed the Env3 by LG. It's lightweight, looks cool, is a qwerty which is a must for me & was on sale. I got to try one out from a salesperson there and the phone absolutely flys on the internet, it's got a kick ass browser and the best part is the threaded texts. No more texts coming in one after another, now they're sorted by contact so I can have 3 or 4 text conversations going on and know exactly what's going on in the conversation without having to go back. Saweetness!! Did I mention the visual voicemail? Not really sure what that's all about just yet, but it sounds spectacular doesn't it?

It's not as application rich as the E71 but then again, I didn't use half the apps loaded onto it anyways. It doesn't have MS Office support but that just means I won't be able to do work while I am not in the office. Boo-frikking-hoo. LOL.

Now all I need is to come up with a snazzy name for it/him/her.

Shit Splatters

When it hits the fan.

For the past 3 weeks or so my phone has rung at all hours of the day from an unlisted/restricted number & my email box has been filled up with spam. The caller(s) never leave a message, and the spam is blank and not the usual "You have $27 million dollars waiting for you".

I wonder who it could be...

I like to think the best of people, and that my judgment in revealing personal information about myself, won't put me in danger. There have been people who I thought would abuse it, but they never have. Until now.

The bright side is that the email address I had given her, is one of many. The phone number is already changed and passed out to family and friends. A new phone is ordered with a number that I'll pass out to everyone else. I also took the liberty of getting the numbers of those who have called me the past month or so - guess they aren't on the fact that, restricted calls/unknown numbers, aren't exactly restricted or unknown.

I've Been Waiting Part II

[PROLOGUE]

I scrambled to get my workplace in order while simultaneously trying to listen for a response back, all the while different scenarios are running through my head. She could have heard my message and deleted it, or gotten another message before mine and direct connected with that person. As other women's ads audibly passed by and I'm attempting to maintain the integrity of the system, I got the interruption I was waiting for - a new message notification. If my message was straightforward and to the point, hers was even moreso.

'Tell me', was all that I heard in that sultry voice of hers.

Great, I thought. How in the world was I going to do my job of making sure the ads on the system are all okay, leave her a message of what we would be doing to one another if we were actually together, all the while surrounded by my coworkers walking around/passing by and with my boss on the premises. Why, I would direct connect with her of course.

I hit the requisite button and quickly thought of my intro - "I'd love to tell you how I'd have you on a couch with your legs spread wide open for me; how I would trail my lips and tongue from one ankle all the way to your wet pussy, but I'd want to listen in on your reaction. I hope you'll connect." I hit the next button combination to send it off and then I waited. But not for too long.

When the direct connection is about to begin, there's a warning that's broadcast to both callers about not giving any personal information out, err on the side of caution, report any abuse to the customer service reps, etc. But while it's playing, you can hear the other caller as well. So as the system spiel is being run, I can hear her breathing is labored and heavy. We say our hello's and the first thing I ask her is if she's ok. She wants to know why I'm asking and I tell her it's because she sounds like she's out of breath. To which she responds, it's because of my direct connect message - she had run over to the couch to get in the position I had described, had a hand in her panties and was waiting for the connection to get made so that I could finish my description.

In the lowest possible voice I could muster while making it seem like I was actually doing work to any one passing by, I let her know how I'd trail the tip of my tongue up and down her pussy lips. I'd watch as they swelled up in excitement, and the skin on her inner thighs got goosebumps. I'd have my hands running up and down her legs, massaging and helping to keep her legs open. I'd flick my tongue sideways from her opening all the way up to her hardened clit. I'd linger there just enough to hear her moan and then work my way back down, this time dragging my tongue along her slit and pushing it as for in as it would go.

A few times she asked me to repeat myself but I wasn't sure if it was because she couldn't hear me, or if she just liked what she heard. Since I was doing all of the talking, all I was getting from her were short gasps and moans and lots of mmmmm's. The teasing went on for about 10 minutes until I asked her what she was doing. It was no surprise that she had two fingers buried deep inside of herself the whole time. I told her I had to get off the phone because I was at work and actually had to get back to work, but before we disconnected, I wanted her to put her thumb on her clit and rub it as she fucked herself with her fingers. I offered her words of encouragement as she started off; fast and hard at first, but then she got into a nice steady rhythm. As soon as her breathing changed, I made sure to cup the earpiece so that any sound coming from it was muffled and did not draw any attention to me. She had one of the longest orgasmic exhalations/yells that I have ever heard. She was panting trying to catch her breath for nearly 2 minutes once she was done. I asked her if she was okay again, and she said she was. We chatted, this time I was able to speak freely, for about 5 minutes and I asked her if she would be on tonight and if she'd like to chat again. She said she would be, and that she would love to.

I've Been Waiting

For a girl like you, to come into my life..

[With apologies to Foreigner and Lou Gramm]

When I worked for the phone dating company, one of the services they provided was a chat line where you would call in, create a little blurb about yourself or what it was that you were looking for, and then have the ability to listen to ads that other men/women left. I guess you could consider it the first form of IM'ing in a sense.
One of the tasks shared by everyone in the office was to listen in on the ads being created, and to flag those which were inappropriate [giving out personal information, using curse words, blank ads, and nonsensical ads] and have the caller rerecord until it passed muster.

Now after hearing approximately 10,000 ads on the system, you can pretty much tell who is looking to have some fun and get off over the phone; who's looking to cause "trouble"; and who's bored and have nothing else to do. Well one of the ads that I paid attention to was from a woman who said she lived in my neighborhood. I didn't recognize her voice, or anything like that, it was just the way she placed her ad - she spoke in a raspy, breathy tone. Inhaling and exhaling at just the right moment to keep your attention. But the kicker was that in her ad she said she wasn't sure what she was looking for and needed some help figuring out what to do.

She might as well have cut to the chase and said, Fuck Me Now.

I worked different shifts throughout the work week and I would hear her on the system at all hours of the day. I figured she was a stay at home mom/wife and just had lots of spare time to play around. Heck, it wasn't costing her anything but the price of a local call. But whenever I would get on the system while at home, she of course was nowhere to be found. I had to somehow get on the system once I heard her ad, and then try to get her to connect with me. But I would most likely be at work at the time!!
But that wasn't a deterrent at all. Being the ever resourceful one that I am, while I had the ad listening headset on, I had dialed into the system and waited, knowing that she would eventually come on. So coming in on each ear were ads from the system, me dialed in with the phone at my lap and muted, one eye on the lookout for any of my coworkers who might overhear, and the other eye on the lookout for my boss who was working a rare late night.

Fortunately when her ad come up for review, neither were in sight so they wouldn't see me bumbling around in my chair trying to get the headset off, the phone in my lap up to my ear, and trying not to get tangled in any of the 6 cords across the desk. Once the ad was approved, I knew it wouldn't be long before it hit the system and she'd get bombarded with messages and direct connection requests. My message to her was short and sweet and to the point -

'I think I've got just what you need to help you relax this fine evening. Me.'