I've Been Waiting

For a girl like you, to come into my life..

[With apologies to Foreigner and Lou Gramm]

When I worked for the phone dating company, one of the services they provided was a chat line where you would call in, create a little blurb about yourself or what it was that you were looking for, and then have the ability to listen to ads that other men/women left. I guess you could consider it the first form of IM'ing in a sense.
One of the tasks shared by everyone in the office was to listen in on the ads being created, and to flag those which were inappropriate [giving out personal information, using curse words, blank ads, and nonsensical ads] and have the caller rerecord until it passed muster.

Now after hearing approximately 10,000 ads on the system, you can pretty much tell who is looking to have some fun and get off over the phone; who's looking to cause "trouble"; and who's bored and have nothing else to do. Well one of the ads that I paid attention to was from a woman who said she lived in my neighborhood. I didn't recognize her voice, or anything like that, it was just the way she placed her ad - she spoke in a raspy, breathy tone. Inhaling and exhaling at just the right moment to keep your attention. But the kicker was that in her ad she said she wasn't sure what she was looking for and needed some help figuring out what to do.

She might as well have cut to the chase and said, Fuck Me Now.

I worked different shifts throughout the work week and I would hear her on the system at all hours of the day. I figured she was a stay at home mom/wife and just had lots of spare time to play around. Heck, it wasn't costing her anything but the price of a local call. But whenever I would get on the system while at home, she of course was nowhere to be found. I had to somehow get on the system once I heard her ad, and then try to get her to connect with me. But I would most likely be at work at the time!!
But that wasn't a deterrent at all. Being the ever resourceful one that I am, while I had the ad listening headset on, I had dialed into the system and waited, knowing that she would eventually come on. So coming in on each ear were ads from the system, me dialed in with the phone at my lap and muted, one eye on the lookout for any of my coworkers who might overhear, and the other eye on the lookout for my boss who was working a rare late night.

Fortunately when her ad come up for review, neither were in sight so they wouldn't see me bumbling around in my chair trying to get the headset off, the phone in my lap up to my ear, and trying not to get tangled in any of the 6 cords across the desk. Once the ad was approved, I knew it wouldn't be long before it hit the system and she'd get bombarded with messages and direct connection requests. My message to her was short and sweet and to the point -

'I think I've got just what you need to help you relax this fine evening. Me.'